A John Waters Christmas
…It’s A Yuletide Massacre
Merry Fistmas! Season’s Beatings! Happy Hole-A-Day. Like a nutcase, St. Nick for Christmas crazies, John Waters, “gutter” filmmaker (Mondo Trasho, Cecil B. Demented, A Dirty Shame), tawdry stand-up comedian(This Filthy World) and author of many appalling books (Role Models, Carsick, Mr. Know-It-All) is on tour again with a whole new bag of holiday filth for bad little boys and girls everywhere. Both Santa and Jesus will send their regrets when this ho-ho-homo lets loose about reindeer virgin births, the illegally squatting Christ-child and chubby-chasing Mrs. Clause. There’ll be no silent nights here! No, this rapid-fire monologue for adult delinquents asks the holiday questions, “Was Joseph a virgin, too?”, “Is Santa now an incel?”, “Is Rudolph a bossy bottom?”, “Prancer a no-fats-or-femmes top?” And Vixen, well, “Did she make love with Russ Meyer?”
Faux miracles really do happen if you pray to a lower power and Waters begs for the Satanic Temple to convert Greta Thunberg, hopes for a holiday “wilding” outbreak against the Christmas spirit from non-Christian minority children worldwide, and dreams of a new Catholic saint based on Chucky, the horror movie icon. John Waters, the Santa Clause who will give you pause, the fucked-up Father Christmas is coming to town to put the X back in Xmas. Be there or die.
Parking & Directions
Please note that group rates are typically offered for groups of 20 or more, but are sometimes offered for groups of 10 or more. Discounts range from 10-20% but vary from show to show (not all shows support a group rate due to high demand or other restrictions).
SMALL PURSES ONLY, PLEASE. PURSES ARE SUBJECT TO SEARCH
To efficiently create a positive and safe experience for all patrons, only small purses (13″W x 4″D x 9″H and smaller) are allowed into the theater and all are subject to search.
All other bags including backpacks and oversized purses are strictly prohibited and bag storage is NOT available at The Pabst, The Riverside, Turner Hall Ballroom or The Back Room @ Colectivo.
THE FOLLOWING ITEMS ARE PROHIBITED AND ARE NOT ALLOWED INTO ANY OF THE VENUES.
Weapons, laser pens, signs, banners, electronic smoking devices (vapes, Juuls, etc.), oversized bags, backpacks, outside food and beverages including water, cans, bottles, alcohol, illegal substances, iPads/tablets, selfie sticks, laptops, professional audio recording devices (unless approved by artist), and any professional photography equipment. The use of vape pens inside the venues are prohibited as well.
PLAN AHEAD: LEAVE YOURSELF EXTRA TIME Plan to arrive 30 minutes before you want to be in your seat to allow time to go through our security check. Please leave large bags at home or in your car.
We are not responsible for any personal property that is lost, stolen, or damaged.
Thank you for helping to make all of our events efficient, enjoyable and safe for all.